2012 : A flashback 2

February was the birthday of 4 of our very own siao cha bos. One of which we did the craziest thing in our lives. To send a compilation of our awkward, first-time self-video recording, OVERSEAS to our most siao eh cha bo, Ms. Ooi Ee Jane.

Agnes and her antenna, as usual. 

 Soo Shien and her inverted card. =.=

    We also have some creative videos from Khai Li and Yan. :)

Happy Birthday Jane!

2012 : A flashback 1

We had our CNY celebration as promised every year. This year went crazier with the ‘surprise’ birthday celebration of our dear friend, Ms. Cheng Tee Xin.

Preparation at Agnes's. 

Khai Li's trademark kiss.

CNY at Pn. Soo's place! 

Playing cards at Yan's place.

At Mizen's place.

CNY group photo!

Goals I never knew I could score.

The only thing that kept us from getting into the finals was our own mistakes. Made too many silly mistakes. Pressure... pressure...

But that's what a team is.

We rocked.

That'll be the last time I play "poison ball" before a match. =/

 Just find this very adorable! :) 

My goal.

Bitten by the love netball bug. :)

When I was young I'd listen to the radio~ Waiting for my my favorite song~ When they play I'd sing along~ It made me smile~ :)

Those were such happy times~ And not so long ago~ How I wondered where they'd gone~ But they're back again~ Just like a long lost friend~ All the songs I loved so well~~~

Where do we go from here?

So discouraged.

Hou sien ah.

People.

I know a kind-hearted when I see one. :)

Bad day.

Back to uni. Siennnn. Assignments piling up. 2 of them due this Friday and I haven't even started working on em. Sighhhh. Be kind to me, Time.

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Stronger.

Sometimes I wonder if you even have feelings. You. Yes, you.

I am F R E E! :))))

I feel much, much better now. :)

Turn down these voices inside my head.

This is the day I finally decided to give up on certain things and move on. A new year, a new beginning.

May what my grandma say comes true. :)

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Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements?

Silence

Sometimes I like to stuck earphones into my ears without listening to any music cuz I wanna just listen to my thoughts without any interruption. I can hear my thoughts clearer, and I seemed to make the most sense out of things at these moments. And I enjoy it very much.


Try it! :)

When you have regrets...

Not everything needs to be fixed.

Completed "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch! I'd recommend this book to anyone!

A lot of things we've missed in life and I think we should learn to slow down and appreciate the things, the people around us. Appreciate the moment. Time, money can't buy, really. That's true. So spend the time you have wisely. You'll never know how long you have with you. Never ever take time for granted. I think this is something I should really learn and hold on to.

Wonderful, wonderful book.

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Justathought.

Sometimes I look at my friends and I look at myself. How the hell did we all got together? So many unique personalities. Different background different characteristics. Different attitudes. Yet we all share one same thing -----> the 'Friend-Ship'!

I can never think of anyone else in our lives, besides our life partner maybe, that can understand us all the way we understood each other. That can accept ourselves and still be with us despite our weaknesses and sees the best out of it. That can stand by us and let us know that we are all here for one another when we are going through some hard times; let us know that things are gonna be okay when sometimes deep down we know that things really arent? Lol! The point is, we are always there for one another and that's what really matters isn't it? We are just one happy crazy family aren't we. :)

As 2011 is gonna end soon, here is a very small 'ee su ee su' (tribute) to all my friends out there.

As we grow older, may our friendship grow stronger.

Cheers to our many years of friendship, and still counting. :)

Love.

Jenn.

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When life treats you unfair, do you reciprocate?

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The Last Lecture.

Started reading my first book since Finals ended. Was only into my 3rd paragraph and it made my heart ache already. Why is life so unfair?

A new day.

Exam's finally over. Not that my Finals this time is a long one. I had 2 papers, both on the same day - today. Heh. So yea. Merdeka! =)

I just wanna be away from my psychology books for awhile, gonna take some time off my textbooks and all. If not I'll really go mad. Time for Mitch Albom, Jodi Picoult and other inspirational novels to lift my always-so-low spirit lately. Dont know what happened to me these days. I just needed someone to lift my mood! ><

I am already feeling bored less than 24 hours from the end of my Finals. How to survive?? I am left with one subject - 2 classes to attend per week. What am I gonna do with the rest of my time? Isyh. Stupid course giving me all these troubles. Am learning, am learning to adapt. But the HELP registry and business department people arent being any HELP-ful at all. They are impolite, self-centred and all they care about is really, money. Stupid people with stupid management. Just die la. I'm kidding, i'm kidding. But really, HELP gota do something with their human resource department or whatever, at least, please improve on your registry staff's people skills. Kanasai. Damn it. Spoil everyone's mood everyday. If you can learn just 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% from HELP Psychology Dept management skills, I'll be more than grateful dy. Yes, that is how bad you are compared to them. YOU SUCK, HELP MANAGEMENT, YOU SUCK.

Enough of rambling. Pek chek nia. Don't feel like sleeping yet. Night's still young. Just wanna hear every second tick. Not ready to face a new day yet. *Sigh*

Room by Emma Donoghue

I think this book will be a good read too. :)

"To five-year-old Jack, Room is the entire world. It is where he was born and grew up; it's where he lives with his Ma as they learn and read and eat and sleep and play. At night, his Ma shuts him safely in the wardrobe, where he is meant to be asleep when Old Nick visits.

Room is home to Jack, but to Ma, it is the prison where Old Nick has held her captive for seven years. Through determination, ingenuity, and fierce motherly love, Ma has created a life for Jack. But she knows it's not enough...not for her or for him. She devises a bold escape plan, one that relies on her young son's bravery and a lot of luck. What she does not realize is just how unprepared she is for the plan to actually work."

Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult.

"Sterling is a small, ordinary New Hampshire town where nothing ever happens -- until the day its complacency is shattered by a shocking act of violence. In the aftermath, the town's residents must not only seek justice in order to begin healing but also come to terms with the role they played in the tragedy. For them, the lines between truth and fiction, right and wrong, insider and outsider have been obscured forever. Josie Cormier, the teenage daughter of the judge sitting on the case, could be the state's best witness, but she can't remember what happened in front of her own eyes. And as the trial progresses, fault lines between the high school and the adult community begin to show, destroying the closest of friendships and families."

I hope it's good! :)

I see loneliness ooze damply from people's bodies, trail after them, trickling, widening, running deep, flowing on and on and forever.

Lessons in life.

Dr Goh's lectures has always been interesting, unlike Mr. Kenneth's. Dr Goh taught us throughout the first-half of the semester, then Mr Kenneth took over. Somehow, I find it hard to grasp the materials taught in Mr Kenneth's class. Dr Goh's presentation style was simple and easy to understand. He made full use of his time and I've always learned something new in his lectures, every time, be it about life, studies, etc. His lectures are so near to perfect, he cracked up funny intelligent jokes flawlessly every time without fail. He is everyone's favorite lecturer. He is a natural teacher. He understands what we do and don't understand, and I think that is the key to a successful lecturer. I always looked forward to his lectures.

This past few weeks of lectures with Mr Kenneth has been boring. He goes through the slides so fast, there is no time for me to register information into my head. And the moment I understood what he was saying, he is way ahead already, and I would have missed another part of the lecture. Dang. Psychology has never been easy when it comes to understanding this and that, but once you are able to grasp it, suddenly everything becomes so crystal clear. Out of a sudden, you will find yourself so understanding, forgiving and such, because you are then able to see the reason behind every thought and behavior of human being. But also, you see some ugly truths that you do not want to accept, but those are facts of life. As hard as it is, you still have to find a way to accept them, no matter what.

We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.

Got myself a copy of The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch some time ago. Haven't got the chance to read it yet. Another book about life! Here I am staring at it on the shelf, untouched, so lonely. Still waiting for the right time to read it, as for now I'll have to buck up on my Social Psych paper, Finals this Saturday!

Someone like you.

It is what it is.

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And I'm crying inside
And nobody knows it but me.

That's why I find so much comfort in my friends.

I may appear like I like to show off, to some people, but I really don't. I don't when it comes to those serious stuff that I do sincerely, from the bottom of my heart. I don't like to be seen, I don't like people to know when I do something kind or good or whatsoever. Things that are close to my heart especially, I don't do it because I want to show people how nice or how kind or how wonderful I am. I call some people like this hypocrites and thus, I don't act like one. As long as I know I am true. That's enough.

You can only know me this long to call me a useless, show-off, good-for-nothing person. I am difficult to understand. So don't come near me if you find me so complicated.

I don't like to show off. And because I don't like to show off, people misjudge me. So be it.

Making & keeping friends.

By George W. Burns.

Sometimes it can be lonely, if you are a mouse who lives in a hole in a wall in the corner of a house all by yourself. Maybe it can be lonely even if others live in the house with you.

There were times Fred Mouse enjoyed being alone, especially when he had a plateful of toasted cheese sandwiches all by himself. But sometimes, Fred Mouse thought he might like to have a friend whom he could play. Deep in these thoughts one day, he wandered out of his house and down the road to the bay, where he sat alone at the end of the jetty looking at the rippling water. He hadn't been there long before Sleek-Fin popped his dolphin head out of the water, rolled on his side, and looked at Fred with one big, glassy eye. "Hi, Fred," he said with a smile on his face. "What are you doing sitting on the jetty?"

I was just wondering how to find some friends to play with," replied Fred.

"You can always play with me," said Sleek-Fin.

"How?" asked Fred. "We are so different. You are a dolphin and I am a mouse. You live in the water and I live on the land.

"Oh," said Sleek-Fin, seeming a little sad at first. Then, brightening up, he added, "Maybe there is a way we could make it work. If you sat on my back near my fin I could take you for a ride without ducking under water and getting you wet...well, without getting you too wet...maybe." As Fred laughed and enjoyed his ride on Sleek-Fin's back, he thought this was one fun way to
make friends-doing something that both of you can enjoy together.

Almost as if reading his mind, Sleek-Fin said, "I've been thinking about it, too. You know there are a couple of things that you need to avoid if you want to make friends." You see Leaper out there?" he asked, pointing with his nose out toward the sea. Fred had already seen Leaper riding the waves, standing up almost vertically on his tail as he finned his way down. He watched as Leaper caught the next wave and did a backward somersault over the top of it. Sleek-Fin said, "It doesn't help to show off. Leaper doesn't have many friends because he thinks he is so much better than everyone else. But then, it doesn't help to be too shy either. There's another dolphin in our pod, Shy-Swimmer, who you won't see out there showing off like Leaper. He always swims back and waits for others to approach him, and he doesn't have many friends, either."

Fred begin to wonder: If there were things you needed to avoid, what could you do to build more friendships? He remembered that when Sleek-Fin had come up to him earlier at the jetty, smiled, looked him in the eye, and asked about how he was feeling, it had felt good. Maybe it helps to be interested in the other person, thought Fred, to ask how they are feeling and thinking. When Sleek-Fin did, Fred had felt special. So what could Fred do to help Sleek-Fin feel special, too?

He couldn't invite him to visit. There was no way a dolphin could make it across land to Fred's home, let alone squeeze through the tiny little hole in the wall in the corner of the house, was there? If Sleek-fin could have done that, Fred thought that might have shown Sleek-Fin he really liked him. Maybe Fred could help Sleek-Fin feel special by telling him things that Fred liked about him.

"It was nice that you took an interest in me when I was sitting by myself on that jetty," said Fred.

"That's fine," said Sleek-Fin."What are friends for? Friends are the people who are willing to stand by you at times when you are happy and joyful as well as the times when you feel sad or lonely."

"Not only that," said Fred, "you are very thoughtful and considerate. When we were out swimming you took so much care not to get me wet. You never forgot I was on your back and never dived under the water."

"Thanks," said Sleek-Fin, accepting Fred's compliment.

Fred was taken by surprise. He had been taught to be modest,and he might have denied it if someone had given him a compliment, saying something like, "I'm not really," or "Obviously, you don't know me well." Yet he felt good when Sleek-Fin accepted his compliment and it appeared that Sleek-Fin felt good, too.

Just then, Fred noticed something. "Did you know you have a bit of seaweed stuck in your blowhole?" asked Fred. he wondered why he hadn't seen it while they had been out swimming.

"Yes," replied Sleek-Fin, "I have been trying to get rid of it got days. i have blown and I have coughed but that didn't shift it, and without my arms I haven't been able to reach up and pick it out."

"Let me help," said Fred. So, as Sleek-Fin blew, Fred used his tiny little paws to pull the seaweed out of Sleek-Fin's blowhole.

"You were right earlier when you said we were different," commented Sleek-Fin. "I can swim and you can't, but I can take you for a ride if we are friends."

"And I can use my paws to clear seaweed from your blowhole if we are friends," added Fred.

After that, Fred always knew that when he was sitting alone in his house and wanted company all he had to do was to take a walk down to the jetty on the bay. It wouldn't take long before his friend would turn up, looking at him caringly, smiling gently, and talking about the things they cared about in each other. They were very different, but it didn't matter so much what the differences were so long as they could share the things they had in common. A dolphin and a mouse!

"A strange relationship," said Sleek-Fin.

"And a great friendship," added Fred.

Hidden intentions.

What are words if you really don't mean them when you say them?

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S H I T H A P P E N S .

My definition of itch has changed tremendously over a very short time period.

Just 3 weeks back, a normal mosquito bite, would make me scratch already.
3 weeks later, give me a hundred mosquito bites, I can tell you I dont feel anything.

Cuz what I am experiencing now is far worst than that. I'd prolly develop some sort of immunity against normal itch already. The type of itch I am having right now is beyond explicable.

I am getting them 24/7, over the past 3 weeks. I can't sleep well. I often wake up to find myself struggling to prevent myself from scratching. But sometimes. I.CANT.STOP.MYSELF.

***

What i say may, or may not reflect what i feel.

You know the feeling when you wake up, feeling all drowsy for that good initial 3mins? That's the best time to quickly get yourself back to sleep. You miss that first 3mins, then you become like the night owl. Your eyes dont seem to want to close anymore.

Then you spend another few minutes to an hour or so, thinking... about a lot of things. Wondering... why shit happens? for no reason? or just observing your surrounding, and then you get so frustrated about yourself when you see your sister sleeping so well beside you. And there you are struggling to go back to sleep again, with your itch, at 4am in the morning. Repeating the whole process all over again.

Scratch-Struggle-Scratch-Struggle-Scratch-Struggle(x 100?)-Sleep.

How frustrating is that??

And it is even more frustrating when you finally reach the last stage, when it feels like winning a million dollar lottery, to find yourself waking up in the middle of the night, having to repeat the whole freaking process all over again!

Scratch-Struggle-Scratch-Struggle-Scratch-Struggle(x 100?)-Sleep.
Scratch-Struggle-Scratch-Struggle-Scratch-Struggle(x 100?)-Sleep.
Scratch-Struggle-Scratch-Struggle-Scratch-Struggle(x 100?)-Sleep.
Scratch-Struggle-Scratch-Struggle-Scratch-Struggle(x 100?)-Sleep.

.
.
.
.
.

Scratch-Struggle-Scratch-Struggle-Scratch-Struggle(x 100?)-Sleep.

I need sleeping pills.

Ok, now that being said. Sometimes, I find myself wondering(prolly during one of those banguntengahmalam 4am period) about people who think they know everything.

For example, when I say, "I am O.K."

Does that really tell you that I am ok? Have you ever wondered otherwise?

You think you understood everything about me.

Really?

"A little bit la.." "No, not pain anymore."

And people tend to generalize these and make general mental conclusions that will stick there in their heads.

How do you know that I am telling the truth?

Some times, things are better left unsaid than said. Cuz when you say them out there, it become exposed to vulnerability.

And some times, it is tough to act strong. But what options do you have? When you have been this way for your life?

A lot of people judge things based on what they know, what is being told to them. And they jump into conclusion without making any further analysis or evaluation of a situation. People take short cuts. Who dont like short cuts anyway? So I'm not saying that this is something wrong, o bad. We are all humans. And it is only normal that we are doing all these things. But sometimes people can be so carried away in their own world, they tend to miss out on important clues, other vitals pieces of puzzles that will certainly assist them in coming out with a conclusion that makes more sense in real, real life situations.

***

For those of you who are still wondering out there, I have seen 2 doctors, a GP and a skin specialist, twice respectively, but both cant tell what's wrong with me. I have just seen another doctor in Ipoh yesterday; a skin specialist as well. Um, he seemed to know what he is doing. So, keep my fingers crossed. I'm currently on medication. I'm on sick leave till the 31st. Been missing my Finals, maybe Mid-terms as well as my classes. Well, I just want to get better. Leave the rest to be worried about when I recover. If I recover.


And thank you all for your encouraging messages on Facebook. I got all of them. And am happy that I have so many people who cared about me. :)

I do the only thing I know how.

The hotline was right in front of my eyes. I actually dont have to take up such a long time thinking. But it's Jennifer you're talking bout, nothing i will do without giving at least a few years of thought into it. Haha. Just kidding. But yea, that's me.

You cant ignore all the danger signals being sent out from your brain. They're natural reflexes. All the "what ifs" start coming into your head. What if I'm asked to go all the way to the office to make a report personally? What if they want all my details? What if the driver found out it was I who made the report? What if I have to go through all the trouble just to voice my dissatisfaction? I only want to voice my discomfort, and action to be taken against the driver. That's all. Nothing else. I dont want to deal with anymore trouble. What if... and the thinking goes on and on and on.

I have encountered a few times where people just dont seem to be bothered about my opinion. I think i was denied too many times, that i am conditioned to just accept it. I gave up trying to stand up for myself... Nothing I say matter anyway.. Alamak, terpesong. Ok, back to my point.

And then I decided. The hotline is there for a reason.
So I made the decision to try. I sent a text message which read like this (having the least hope for any action to be taken):

"Saya penumpang bas K********* dari Simpang-Kuala Lumpur, pukul 3.10pm, tarikh 2 Oktober 2011. Sy ingin buat aduan tentang pemandu bas India yang merokok semasa pandu bas (sehingga mesej ini dihantar, driver telah merokok sebanyak 3 kali). Papan tanda "Dilarang Merokok" jelas tertera di hadapan bas, tetapi pemandu bas masih berkelakuan demikian. Pemandu juga memotong kenderaan lain dengan merbahaya dari bahagian kiri bahu jalan. Diharap pihak berkuasa mengambil tindakan tegas supaya keadaan ini tidak berterusan."
*Sent*



Just a few minutes after that, there's a message coming in. Thought it would be one of my friends, tengok tengok, I got a reply from the hotline:

"Aduan diterima..driver tersebut akan dikenakan tindakan..tq."

And right after that, the driver (who've just ended a very long call with someone) received another call. From the tone of his voice, I can be 120% sure that it was from the person whom I complained to.

Sure enough, he stopped smoking in the bus after that. As we are approaching the Duta toll, one aunty came and asked the driver to stop right after the toll as her son is waiting. The driver said no but the aunty didnt give up. She kept asking and the driver very rudely responded, "TAKDA. TAK BOLEH TURUN SINI. NANTI ADA ORANG HANTAR SMS COMPLAIN. TADI SUDAH ADA ORANG COMPLAIN. U TAK PUAS HATI MAU COMPLAIN U PERGI COMPLAIN LA. NANTI KALAU KENA SAMAN 600RINGGIT TAU."

Now I feel bad for that lady. @.@ But I dont regret my decision.

Come on man. How stupid can a person be to smoke in an air-conditioned vehicle?? Such an idiot. Just imagine the suffocation my sister and I and the rest of the passengers had to go through that day.

The driver continued talking on the phone after that. His mood was affected so much that he lost his patience and honked at the bus in front as we were entering the Pudu bus terminal.

I hope he gets fired and never get a job for the rest of his life and the life after.







Just kidding! xP

Forgiveness

There are people in your life who've come and gone,
They let you down and hurt your pride,
Put it all behind you, as life goes on,
If you keep carrying that anger, it'll eat you inside.

Trust is earned.

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