stop pushing me for an answer i have already given you. for a person like me, i would have already thought about it for at least a million times before giving you the answer. or else, i would have just simply give you an answer without thinking about it at all. it's either i take it seriously and think about it or not at all. you just don't know me well enough if you do not want to accept it.

.

it is already hard for me to make a decision. now that i finally have an answer, let's just make the best out of it. but you doubted it. so what can i do? give you an answer that you wanted? then i would have to lie, which i definitely won't.

.

her words are still echoing in my head. they clear my mind a little. but lets just say, it is my future that i'm facing. i may seem like i don't care, but deep inside no one knows what i am thinking except myself. so stop pretending as if you know me so well.

L.O.S.T.

i think i have lost myself.

.

i don't know whether i was really leading a life i wanted for the past 2 years (except for that 2 months or more).

.

i don't know if i was myself.

.

i have lost a precious possession. something i used to have and must have to continue with my life. to become who i used to be and who i will be. i don't know where it went. it faded slowly while i continue living a life of emptiness. it was not until today that i finally realise it was the absence of it that has kept me from the real me.

.

i think it was partly because of the slight change of environment around me. however, if i were to be somewhere else, i think i will lose myself competely.

.

OR

.

another cause would be because i was lying to myself all this while. but, was i? why would i?

.

so, why?

.

where can i find it? will i ever find it back?

.

oh my god. help me.

The Changeling (2008)

A grief-stricken mother takes on the LAPD to her own detriment when it stubbornly tries to pass off an obvious impostor as her missing child, while also refusing to give up hope that she will find him one day.

Based on a true story.

Single parent Christine Collins (Angelina Jolie) is a supervisor at the local telephone exchange who, having returned home late from having to work overtime on a Saturday, finds her 9 year old son Walter (Gattlin Griffith) is missing from their home. As the days and weeks go by, the Collins case becomes the object of a campaign by Pastor Gustav Briegleb who rails against the incompetence and corruption of the Los Angeles police Department. Soon, the police arrive with the news that they have found her boy but when the lad is turned over to her, she realizes that the police have returned a stranger to her in an attempt to bring an end to the public complaints about their handling of her case. Her attempts to get justice bring her into conflict with the LAPD who will go to any length to protect their reputation. When she joins a minister in his public criticism of the police, they in turn use government power to silence and intimidate her. When she continues to complain she finds herself arrested and confined to the mental ward..

The story is set in 1920s, during which corruption and power abuse is at it highest.

Directed by Clint Eastwood, this deep and daring movie is worth the watch.

.

Do take some time off to watch this remarkable movie.

The only thing in life achieved without effort is failure.

Enjoy life today, yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come.

Love, and you shall be loved.

We gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face. We must do the thing which we think we cannot do.

Don't look where you fall, but where you slipped.

jennifer.

i was waiting for so long

for a miracle to come

everyone told me to be strong

hold on and don't shed a tear

so through the darkness and good times

i knew i'd make it through

and the world thought i had it all

but i was waiting for you

hush now

i see a light in the sky

oh, it's almost blinding me

i can't believe i've been touched by an angel

with love

let the rain come down

and wash away my tears

let it fill my soul

and drown my tears

let it shatter the walls

for a new sun

a new day has come

where it was dark now there is light

where there was pain, now there's joy

where there was weakness, i found my strength

all in the eyes of a boy

hush now

i see a light in the sky

oh, it's almost blinding me

i can't believe i've been touched by an angel

with love

trouble, a friend?

something has been troubling me lately.

i know. stpm is nearing. i should not be thinking about anything else except my studies.

i know.

but thoughts cannot be controlled.

whatever that is around seemed to worth something for me to think about.

whatever it is.

anything.

happenings around me.

as if they were my problems.

why?

Netball is a beautiful game

i was outraged when i found out about this article. thought i would share it here in my blog. and let me know your opinion.

the title of this article is

IS IT TOO EASY TO SCORE IN NETBALL?

This post was going to be about the recent Co-Operative World Netball Series tournament but after reading some rather ill-advised comments about netball we felt the need to post a response. A keen-eyed netball fan spotted the article in last Friday’s edition of the London Evening Standard, written by respected journalist and BBC TV presenter, John Inverdale. The online version can be foundhere, just after the piece about Wasps Rugby Club.

Credit where credit’s due; Mr Inverdale is at least writing about netball, and in an established newspaper. However, his comments have landed him in hot water with netball fans around the globe. Judging by his comments, he’s never actually played netball before and he’s all but branded it as being dull. Apparently, it just too easy to score in netball and this makes the game ‘repetitious and unfulfilling’. These comments followed an afternoon spent watching the top 6 teams in the world play a drastically modified version of the game at the World Netball Series in Manchester.

He had the privilege of watching some of the best players in the world. They make it look easy to score but it’s not. Ask any netball player. Try scoring a goal when you’ve got the likes of England’s Geva Mentor or Sonia Mkoloma or Australia’s Susan Fuhrmann towering over you, even if you are as tall as NZ’s Irene van Dyk or Jamaica’s Romelda Aiken. Watching the ball go through the net when your team scores is fantastic especially as you know how difficult it can be in a tight game just to get the ball into the circle.

So, John, you should at least try the game before you dismiss it. We suggest you call up England Netball or one of the UK’s 9 Superleague teams (or even your local netball club) and ask to join in one of their training sessions and play a practice match and see how you get on…THEN you can talk about how easy it is to score a goal. We recommend that you take your own kit in case they don’t have a dress to fit you.

Oh, and don’t forget to bring a BBC TV camera crew with you as we’d all love to see you play!

We have read some lively comments on our Facebook page as to the value of Mr Inverdale’s opinions, but what do you think?

go and have a taste of the game first before writing anything about netball.

don't humiliate yourself.

personality psychology

~initiative~

~talented~

~responsibility~

~caring~

~quiet~

~shy~

~sensitivity~

~dependable~

~easygoing~

~independent~

~courageous~

~outdoor~

~interesting~

We are naturally attracted to individuals who are different from ourselves - and therefore somewhat exciting. But it's not just the exciting differences which attract us to our opposites, it is also a natural quest for completion.

We naturally are drawn towards individuals who have strengths which we are missing. There is also the theory that our natural attraction to our opposites is a subconscious way of forcing us to deal with the weaker aspects of our own nature. So in a sense, our attraction to the opposite personality can be seen as our subconscious minds driving us towards becoming a more complete individual, by causing us to face the areas in life which are most difficult to us.

On the other hand, the same cannot be said for other kinds of relationships. When it comes to work colleagues, or friends, we are not especially interested in dealing with people who are very unlike ourselves. We are most comfortable with those who have similar interests and perspectives, and we do not show a lot of motivation or patience for dealing with our opposites.

Analyzing motives and putting oneself in other people's shoes in order to understand their behavior

*sensitiveness

Seeking encouragement and support from others and appreciating being aided when in need

*neediness

Doing one's best in objective or difficult tasks and achieving recognition

*achievement

disturbance.

there may be something inside. but there's also a possibility that that something is absent. or maybe that something is just waiting all this while for you to give life to it. and it is a matter of time before you can actually find out what exactly is happening. but sometimes, that moment never comes. then you kept yourself wondering over and over again over something you're unsure of that you just don't have the courage to find out.

helpless.

threw yourself on the bed. staring at the ceiling for hours. thinking about... nothing. then you bring yourself to thinking about some other memories you had in the past. sad/happy memories. whatever. you dug out everything, every single thing that could bring memories of the past back to you.

brought back your smile and also had tears in your eyes.

you go on to do other things to keep your mind set on that specific thing you're doing, and when you're really into it, although you are really truly into it

you go back to thinking about that thing that has been disturbing you all this while.

you want it to stop..but you couldn't control them.

you get so tired thinking about it. but u couldn't stop yourself. and you don't know what can you do to stop this. or should i put it this way, there's nothing you could do to stop this thought.

so you actually thought you know exactly what you're thinking, but you get confused after thinking about it over and over again. you thought you know what you're doing, but you just don't know.

so what is this bullshit.

Lucky

Do you hear me,

I'm talking to you

Across the water across the deep blue ocean

Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams

I feel your whisper across the sea

I keep you with me in my heart

You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

They don't know how long it takes

Waiting for a love like this

Every time we say goodbye

I wish we had one more kiss

I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

I'm lucky we're in love in every way

Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed

Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea

To an island where we'll meet

You'll hear the music, fell the air

I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through trees

Move so pretty you're all I see

As the world keeps spinning round

You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

I'm lucky we're in love in every way

Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed

Lucky to be coming home someday