Tuesday, November 8, 2016

It's a nice read.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/lauren-jarvis-gibson/2016/10/50-tiny-things-every-20-something-needs-to-realize/

Friday, November 4, 2016

Blog #idk

When we have no control over the outcome, say to yourself - FUCK IT. And then move on.

Of course, allow ourselves to be sad over it. But know when is enough.

Give up on the idea that things will work out eventually, as these are things we dwell in too much for too long, unnecessarily.

Don't be embarrassed; not proud either. Evaluate on the situation - was it us or was it the other person, or was it both? Then just tell the other person, your co-worker, neighbor, or the imaginary outcome to F*** off. Work on ourselves. There is something to improve, somewhere. Look into ourselves, find it. Then work on it. Our time is precious, don't spend anymore extra seconds on things or people who does not care. Spend it on ourselves.

Dwelling on things too much for too long only waste too much of our time - time that can be spent doing so many things for ourselves - pick up a new hobby, change our wardrobe, travel, go bungee jumping, create a new recipe, join a club, volunteer, visit the cafe we have always heard about, with the people who do care for us - they are the ones that will be there for us when we are in the hardest of all times.

Without realizing, a year would have passed by, maybe two. We don't want our youth to be wasted, don't we?

Our darkest moments, often times come with comparing ourselves to others. Yes, we all can't help but compare ourselves to others, but just don't. We never know how others really feel. We think we saw how unfair life is, how another couple is just so happy and living a perfect life. But how do we know that they are actually really happy? We are not therefore, we do not assuhem, tme. Or maybe, who knows, a month or two from now, one of the perfectly happy couple met a car accident and was killed and the survivor is left to mourn? Or the person may have met with a critical health condition and have only few months to live? Or the seemingly happy-go-lucky person on his job may get retrenched the next month? Many things are out of our control and unpredictable. They are not for us to judge, or presume. The only thing we can do is to just do our part, be kind to our community, and most importantly to ourselves.

Be truthful to ourselves, sometimes things will not go our way, because they are not right for us. Well, something else is - and only Time will tell when the right one will come.

So just say FUCK IT. And then move on.




Thursday, July 21, 2016

Take off that mask, perhaps, this time things are better on the other side...

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

"I didn't know."

So unattractive, but wise.

But still. Unattractive.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Love Yourself.

Some asks questions. Some listens. Some understands. But there's also a handful, who knows but kept them to oneself.

Friday, March 6, 2015

Get a Dog, Don't Work Like One.

Our working lives and the nature of our careers have fundamentally changed in a very short period of time. A number of forces have come together to make our working patterns more emotionally demanding and less rewarding, taking away control and having a greater impact on our whole existence. The globalisation of business and increased competition has driven companies further towards profit maximisation, usually at the expense of its staff. Many of us have been caught up in a spiraling virus of materialism fueled by the media which promotes lifestyles we cannot afford and which don’t make us happier or more fulfilled. Technology has made routine tasks a lot easier but has also asked us to be accessible virtually all the time, making it difficult to switch off from work issues. Work is entering our homes and private lives far too often, changing our balance and natural working equilibrium.

Expectations have changed about when and where we are contactable and the speed at which we have to respond. We are expected to make important decisions in a fraction of the time, and we have less time to assess the direction of our career path, along with the lifestyle that will make us more satisfied and rounded as human beings. Work commitments now affect our entire lives and the people around us. The result has been losing touch with what we really want from our job or occupation and how we want to run our lives, losing track in the process of aspects of our identity. This has left many of us frustrated, unmotivated, unfulfilled and in the dark about whether we have been successful or not. Work is now affecting our state of mind and this situation is only going to get worse unless action is taken. Bringing change into our lives is therefore essential to combat the evolving nature of work and the new demands put upon us.

We spend a considerable amount of time toiling away at our desk or computer terminal, constructing plans and solving problems for other people – often making profit for unknown shareholders, directors or investors. Yet we rarely, if ever, spend time examining ourselves with the same critical eye, in an effort to understand what we want. The road to success is not always an easy or straight one and there are certainly no 'magic bullets' but by thinking differently about key aspects we can transform our approach and get back on track. It is not always about making meteoric modifications overnight but often simply by taking small steps in the right direction. Much of what follows focuses on the work part of the work–balance equation, as this is the piece of the jigsaw that usually needs attention and has been affected the most by external factors.

This excerpt was taken from the book, Get a Dog, Don't Work Like One.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Too much of a good thing, wont be good for long.

Friday, January 30, 2015

Embrace change
Embrace the uncertainty
Embrace whatever that comes
Cause in the end all you'd come to know is that time is coming right after you. Time is catching up fiercely.
Whatever that'll come will come.
Whatever that has to go, will go eventually.
Embrace the present.
Live the moment.
Live your life, now.
Cause no one's stopping you, but yourself.
Search for that happiness. Search for peace. Dont wait.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Life in 2015.

You go to friends outings for girl talks with girlfriends who never disappoint. Friends you can depend on any time of the day, any day of the month. Then from the activities you got involved in, you get to know new people for a change. Everyday there is someone new that you'd meet. Awesome people. Sporting people. Cool ones. Serious ones. Light-hearted ones. Genuine ones. Happy-go-lucky ones. Really pretty ones. Really good-looking ones. Extroverted ones, introverted ones. You'd just go out and embrace the change you have always feared facing. With the time you have, there are really so many things that you can do when you really make full use of it. Then you come home after this long productive day, with your bed luring you to go to sleep. You turn to your guitar, your only companion you can place all your trust in because its tunes never lie. You play your favorite song until your fingers couldn't play the same way again. You play until you can't even remember why you are holding it in the first place... As you pluck a note out of the same string over and over again...

You turn to your clock and realize it's late, and its really time, to sleep.

Ahhh.. Yes. Goodnight.

Life in search of something special.

Monday, January 19, 2015

:) It's 2015 now and I'm glad life's been treating me well so far.

We all start from somewhere.

It is great if my work is my passion, but it would be greater if my passion is something that's not related to my work because what happens when one day I lose that passion?

Haha of course it would be greatest if I could find a passion in my work, as well as passion outside of work. Hmm... Still trying to figure some things out. I guess it's safe to say that most of the time, it depends on individual priorities...

Third week into my new job and I'm still learning something new everyday. My coming weeks are gonna get more interesting and exciting. I'm able to adjust and adapt better now. Looking at the way the culture is at this company...I'd give myself some more time to see what else it has to offer before making any assumptions.

Everything seems good so far. I'm remaining hopeful to see and learn more.

Monday, December 22, 2014

A repost from last year's 2013 year-end wrap. :D (Posted on 24th November 2013)

It has been quite some time. ;)



I'm so excited for the new year which explains this early new year post. A brief one.

First of all, I did a lot of reflections.

* ~Who... is that girl I see... Staring straight, back at me?... ~*

Looking back, I am proud to say that I achieved my main goal for this year and I believe I am happier and comfortable being who I am and living my life throughout this year. I also learnt to make mistakes, and accept some of myself and others, and forgive.

Although not always, there is a grey in between a white and a black. And I have finally began to understand this.

I learned to see more of the good things in life because they are all there, I only need to be able to SEE it in a different perspective.

I have grown stronger, a year wiser, and achieved some things I never thought I'd achieve at this time of my life. This year taught me a lot of things, but most important of all, we only live life once. When else to do what I said I'm gona do if not now?

Do it now, or regret it later. I'd rather regret having done something, than regret having done nothing later on in my life. Whatever I think I should do, this time, I'd just do it. Go for it. Don't say no. Don't reject, if it is really what I want. Who else can do it for myself but myself?

This year also sees humility taking over my old self. I learnt to relate to people and their life stories, and I realized that there are so much more out there that I have yet to explore, when I could give them my time, genuinely.

With the completion of my dissertation, greater things will be waiting for me. For me to explore and chase after. HOWEVER, having a LIFE is what I want and will go after first. There are so so soooo many things out there waiting for me to explore, especially people. I want to see and learn new things at my own pace. I want to take the time to look at the clouds, experience the sea breeze and serenity from the sound of the waves hitting on the shore, listen to music, understand people, and be inspired by so many more things in life that is so beautiful if I could only find more time to pause, and see, listen, smell, touch and feel them. But if I were to just go around chasing after a life, monetary-wise, I will not be able to do and experience what I want. As I have sorta have an idea of my life for myself, I hope the future would be kind to me and let me achieve my aspirations meaningfully.

HAHA. Ok, that sounded very far-fetched, but yeah, any company who wants a person like me, please by all means, contact me. I will be officially unemployed soon so...call me! XD

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Because eventually, someone has to let go.

At the end of the day, who will be the one packing their luggage?

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Its easy to be confident when no one has ever torn you down.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

When I stopped looking, I start to see
What's in front of me
What's good and then bad for me

When I stopped looking
I don't see her
I see my true self; thoughts and feelings I call my own
I'm not someone I am not,
or whom others wanted me be

When I stopped looking
I became free
Free from the judgmental eyes of others
Free from the expectations of others
Free to be truly who I want to be

When I stopped looking
I start living
I start to believe
and I start loving

When I stopped looking
I found me.


Monday, March 24, 2014

To the author of this blog --


First of all, thank you, Jenn, for being honest with me and to share your feelings. I appreciate it to know, because I know most of the time, among us, there’s never an opportunity to really talk.

As you wrote, yes, it might be difficult for me to share as much as you did, or even to share. Probably you’d also understand how it feels to not share, maybe we stand on the same page when it comes to sharing troubled times. I don’t know about you, but for me, whenever I am at my most difficult, I seek laughter to lighten up, rather than following by “a problem shared a problem halved”.

I have left to this foreign land for +/- 7 years, maybe you, and the rest might feel that I have not stop whining about homesickness. It may come as a little annoying, but truth be told, from day 1 to this very day, it was never anybody’s responsibility to make me feel at home – it does all fall back on me and what I choose to feel and do about my life in a foreign land. That being said, I have my greatest friends -- you all, because you all are my remedy to sanity, my savior. What you (all), do or don’t do, I have no expectations, therefore, you (all) will never do anything to help that is damaging.

Unhappy, yes. Missing home, always. Surely life does not wait, I could not agree with you more, and I think I have at some point, come to terms with reality that I am. Here. One thing I am confused about is, where did you get the idea of your help seem to be wrong everytime. Your help and your friendship and our friendship have always been right, one of the few things that is right in my life.

There is no excuse for my actions sometimes. I regret them but sometimes my regretful actions seem so right for me. I disappear you say, but believe me, it was hard to exist. It may sound pathetic to you that I fail to be a strong person, but being a strong person all the time is not an easy task. I speak of feelings maybe you do not quite understand because we have never worn each others’ shoes, therefore you feel how you feel, and I do what I do. Deactivating my Facebook was probably my most drastic act to disconnect but it gave me certain kind of calm; never actually anyone’s fault – I miss you all so much when I did because I know what I will miss will never wait for me, but then again, what will not wait for me I will not be there for it anyway.

When I had to think of what to fill in the blank, I had absolutely no idea. I had to Google, ask Bing, WikiAnswers still I didn’t know. So I turned to the one person that might possibly know and I got the whole story, as accurate as we think it is. And oh my gah, I have never been that mistaken and misunderstood before. I am plenty krazy, but I will never succumb to negative peer pressure. I believe in experiences but never in anything detrimental, or anything that people close to me will not be proud of. If one day I ever do, I have fallen off the edge.

Keeping in touch is like an endless marathon, once you stop running, you lose the rhythm. And in this run, I’ve stopped many times, but I am forever grateful that no matter, we are always like how we always are, never letting our out of touch affect how we love and care for each other. I know you and every SCBs are my bestest of friends hence I have the confidence to stop running and know that nothing in between us will ever change. On my part, I know you all have each other…


Life is filled with battles, some people have it easier, some have it hard. Unfortunately, sometimes people closest to you are the ones that are causing these battles and there’s nothing that anyone can do to fight these battles for you but yourself. 

I always wonder if I am the lucky or unlucky one?


Sincerely,
Your guest blogger

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Untitled.

Sometimes I don't know if I should acknowledge or to avoid because to relate with a fragile and emotional and really crazy person like you takes a lot of patience, understanding, courage and determination.

I don't know what approach I should take in order for you to feel like home in a foreign country cause there is NO way you could feel like home. I don't know how I could help and knowing that every step I take would have it's own result - more likely to be damaging than constructive - I did not want to risk going out there and help and allow life break you more. But the fact that no matter how much I can think to do or do, I know I can't help much because the main thing of it all goes back to you.

I know you are sometimes unhappy and without a doubt miss home every single day but life goes on. Life goes on. Life wont wait. I don't know what can I do to help cause everything seems wrong every time.

The fact that you took up ___, I don't know if you know how much it affected me, but it did. I know that you are submitting into peer pressure and stress and homesickness and everything else so I am not in a position to say anything. Maybe I am not in a position to even give a slightest care toward what you are doing with your life because perhaps I have not made enough effort or I have not been keeping in touch much. I may not be there when you needed someone to talk to or rant with. And this was because I don't know how.

Sometimes you stayed as far as you could, sometimes you disappeared and never replied any messages.

That conversation we had at my place about your plans and future dreams; I feel really glad and happy and excited that there are so many possibilities that you are looking into and are already preparing for it. With all the things you talked about, believe me or not at that moment I could see very well these images after images of what you'd be doing with your life forming in front of me as you spoke about them. I know you'd do just fine in whatever you put your heart into, just like how you are always giving fresh and creative and crazy and impossible but! always.made.possible.ideas for every teachers' day event we had back in convent (and any other events). Not because you planned your life well or whatever ("cannot wait to die", yeah, very well-planned) but because you are still you, the one we all know and loved and you are still you till this very day. Some things may have changed, but I hope that we all, you, me and the rest of the siaochabos will still stick to our roots and remember the girls we used to be in convent and the ladies we have all grown up to be.

This time around, many memories were brought back and although not much time could be spent together, we all tried our best and had the best of our time, yet again. Many times it felt like we're living in the moments again, and they felt really great. I recalled again many memories and they all never fail to remind me of how we all got together, how we are all molded and grown, together and apart to become the person we all are today. And I am thankful and grateful that every time we meet, we still talk like how we used to. We are all still the same person we are deep down at the core.

Know that I would always be there in whatever choices you make because I trust you my friend and we may not be able to talk n share this much like what I am doing right now in my office suddenly jz out of random to decide to pour it all out. These thoughts and feelings has already been in my head and mind for so long, but I could not put them into proper words because I guess the right time has not come. And today was a realisation I guess. To put in my time to write this to you, hopefully to stapler this into your book of siaochabos later (like u said), which I hope I can get from khaili soon enough...

Until then.

Technology, let's make full use of it.

Now I need to get back to work before my boss catch me doing this. Haha. Bye.
All the suffering is in the thoughts.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Dont make me say that you break your promises, time and time again. What are words if you don't mean them when you say them?

Sunday, February 9, 2014

#justathought

Why don't we try to do this together?

With 24 hours a day, an average of 8 hours each for 1. work, and 2. sleep. That leaves us with another 8 hours left, out of which about 2.5 hours are used up for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

With 5.5 hours left, 1 hour (if we are lucky) is used for traveling to work, and back. About 2.5 hours is allocated for daily chores/activities eg shower, preparing for work, cooking, wash clothes,  etc.

We now have 2 hours. I start to panic. Only 2 hours left of free time for myself everyday?? No.

Remember the 8 hours per day allocated for work? You will then be required to stay up for another one hour or so to 'clear' your tasks for that day. Even when you have completed the urgent tasks, you will be given more tasks to do (AFTER working hours), just because you finished your work on time, you are efficient, and thus, extra work are pushed to you. WTF man. This abuse or what??

OK. Fine. So after that, I have 1 hour left for myself right? To spend MY time, doing the things I like. I can at least use that 1 hour to play my netball, or play the guitar, or read a book or random articles on the internet, watch videos/movies when I can, go DATING??? But no, that one hour also they wana makan. Stayed back for an extra hour already, still can ask you, "Oh, since you are here, come let's do this, let's do that.... bla bla bla....".  WALAOOOOO. Pekchek untilllllll. FRUST UNTILLLLLLL.

So what I am saying is this:

For one second, one moment. For those, those of you who might be experiencing the same thing I am. Can we all take time off and think about this. Respect Our Own Rights, Give Ourselves a Break and Stand Up For Ourselves. Choose life. 

Work can wait. Work can always wait, unless you are in the 'emergency' related kinda job fields like being a doctor, or firemen or police where you have to be on standby 24/7. Otherwise, please.

Work can wait. Your life won't.  
This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something. ~
Elizabeth Gilbert

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Oh.

What did not change? Or rather. Who?

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

"I opened up to you and you judged me." -Tiffany, Silver Linings Playbook.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Wow. Just. Wow.

Saturday, December 21, 2013

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Really?

INTP Strengths and Weaknesses

INTP Strengths

  • Great analysts and abstract thinkers. INTP personalities are great at noticing patterns and seeing the big picture. They also possess an impressive ability to jump from one idea to another, linking them in ways that usually bewilder most other personality types.
  • Honest and straightforward. INTPs do not play social games and see no point in sugar-coating their words. They will clearly state their opinion and expect others to return the favor.
  • Objective. People with the INTP personality are very logical and rational individuals, who see no point in involving emotions in the decision-making process. Consequently, they tend to pride themselves in being fair and impartial.
  • Imaginative and original. An INTP’s mind is always working, always producing ideas regardless of whether they are likely to see the light of day. Not surprisingly, INTPs have no difficulties coming up with innovative, original solutions.
  • Open-minded. INTPs tend to be open-minded and willing to accept ideas different from their own, provided that they are supported by facts and logic. Furthermore, INTPs are usually fairly liberal when it comes to social norms and traditions, judging people solely on the basis of their ideas.
  • Enthusiastic. INTP personalities can spend an enormous amount of time trying to figure out something they are interested in. They will also be very enthusiastic when it comes to discussing that topic with other people.

INTP Weaknesses

  • Absent-minded. INTPs are able to focus all their efforts on analyzing a specific idea, but this usually comes at a cost of ignoring everything else. They may be forgetful or simply miss things that have nothing to do with the object of their interest.
  • Second-guess themselves. INTP personalities may be excellent analysts, but they often lack the decisiveness of J types. An INTP may find it quite difficult to decide which idea is the best one, always looking for more information and doubting their own conclusions.
  • Insensitive. INTPs are likely to find it difficult to include emotions in their decision-making process, focusing all their efforts on getting the rational basis right. Consequently, they may often come across as insensitive or be puzzled when it comes to dealing with an emotionally-charged situation.
  • Very private and withdrawn. INTPs are often reluctant to let anyone inside their minds, let alone their hearts. They may often come across as shy in social settings and even the INTP’s friends are likely to have a difficult time getting to know them well.
  • May be condescending. INTP personalities are usually proud of their extensive knowledge and reasoning abilities, but they may get easily frustrated trying to describe their thoughts other people. INTPs enjoy presenting their ideas to other people, but explaining how they got from A to Z is another matter.
  • Loathe rules and guidelines. INTPs need a lot of freedom and have little respect for rules and traditions which put artificial limits on their imagination. People with this personality type would rather have less security and more autonomy.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

It has been quite some time. ;)



I'm so excited for the new year which explains this early new year post. A brief one.

First of all, I did a lot of reflections.

* ~Who... is that girl I see... Staring straight, back at me?... ~*

Looking back, I am proud to say that I achieved my main goal for this year and I believe I am happier and comfortable being who I am and living my life throughout this year. I also learnt to make mistakes, and accept some of myself and others, and forgive.

Although not always, there is a grey in between a white and a black. And I have finally began to understand this.

I learned to see more of the good things in life because they are all there, I only need to be able to SEE it in a different perspective.

I have grown stronger, a year wiser, and achieved some things I never thought I'd achieve at this time of my life. This year taught me a lot of things, but most important of all, we only live life once. When else to do what I said I'm gona do if not now?

Do it now, or regret it later. I'd rather regret having done something, than regret having done nothing later on in my life. Whatever I think I should do, this time, I'd just do it. Go for it. Don't say no. Don't reject, if it is really what I want. Who else can do it for myself but myself?

This year also sees humility taking over my old self. I learnt to relate to people and their life stories, and I realized that there are so much more out there that I have yet to explore, when I could give them my time, genuinely.

With the completion of my dissertation, greater things will be waiting for me. For me to explore and chase after. HOWEVER, having a LIFE is what I want and will go after first. There are so so soooo many things out there waiting for me to explore, especially people. I want to see and learn new things at my own pace. I want to take the time to look at the clouds, experience the sea breeze and serenity from the sound of the waves hitting on the shore, listen to music, understand people, and be inspired by so many more things in life that is so beautiful if I could only find more time to pause, and see, listen, smell, touch and feel them. But if I were to just go around chasing after a life, monetary-wise, I will not be able to do and experience what I want. As I have sorta have an idea of my life for myself, I hope the future would be kind to me and let me achieve my aspirations meaningfully.

HAHA. Ok, that sounded very far-fetched, but yeah, any company who wants a person like me, please by all means, contact me. I will be officially unemployed soon so...call me! XD

Saturday, November 9, 2013

When I say something serious when I am serious, I am serious. If you don't get it the first time, have the decency to figure it out yourself instead of wasting my time having to repeat my words. I don't believe there is a need to repeat it for the second time around cuz you obviously got it.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

"I don't know if I liked it but I'm glad I experienced it." - Sandra Bullock

Friday, July 5, 2013

A thought

"...holding on to things once were will only break your heart." -Mitch Albom

Friday, May 24, 2013

A mistake is still a mistake, correct it before it is too late.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Monday, April 8, 2013

Life goes on, whether you like it, or not.


Trust no one;
then how do you get friends?

Trust;
then why do you feel betrayed?


Saturday, April 6, 2013

A life is not a life if it ain't testing your limits.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

An inspiration

"The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing."

 Jo Harten, England Netball Goal Shoot.
A lost friendship...


Tuesday, March 5, 2013

"Holding anger is a poison...
It eats you from inside...
We think that by hating someone we hurt them...
But hatred is a curved blade...
and the harm we do to others
...we also do to ourselves."

-Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

I found myself in netball.




xxx

Maria Tutaia Silver Ferns NZ.

Monday, March 4, 2013

One doesn't put the blame on others if she is honest with her work.

Friday, February 22, 2013


Silence does not always mean one doesn't know anything...
It may also be an opportunity, for the other party to realize where he had gone wrong.






Sunday, January 13, 2013

You'll know one when you see one.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Memories rushing back with every click.
But I never regretted it.


Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Hello 2013.

Well.

2012 has not been a really good year for me. Some pretty crazy and fun stuff I've mentioned in the previous posts are really almost all that had happened in the past year, plus a few more fun and joyful moments and events with my beloved family which I seldom and probably never mention here. Hehe.

Some stuff that happened in the past year are worthy to look back on, so I dont repeat my mistakes.
While some stuff, which are not even worthy of a single thought should be forgotten, once and for all.

On a more positive note, I became a stronger person, mentally and physically? Haha. I believe I became... wiser? I got myself some new friends. I got to know some people better. I learnt to cherish my family and friends more. I am more expressive with myself and people around me, and I am hoping to do much better come this new year.

Moving on to the new year, I hope everyone around me, my family and friends be blessed with health and happiness and the strength and courage to go through any life obstacles thrown to them as we all walk through two-oh-one-three together. May this year be a better year than the last. Happy 2013. Cheers.



Monday, December 31, 2012

2012 : A flashback


2012 also marks the year we would take initiative to have some gatherings whenever we could make it.