stop pushing me for an answer i have already given you. for a person like me, i would have already thought about it for at least a million times before giving you the answer. or else, i would have just simply give you an answer without thinking about it at all. it's either i take it seriously and think about it or not at all. you just don't know me well enough if you do not want to accept it.

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it is already hard for me to make a decision. now that i finally have an answer, let's just make the best out of it. but you doubted it. so what can i do? give you an answer that you wanted? then i would have to lie, which i definitely won't.

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her words are still echoing in my head. they clear my mind a little. but lets just say, it is my future that i'm facing. i may seem like i don't care, but deep inside no one knows what i am thinking except myself. so stop pretending as if you know me so well.

L.O.S.T.

i think i have lost myself.

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i don't know whether i was really leading a life i wanted for the past 2 years (except for that 2 months or more).

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i don't know if i was myself.

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i have lost a precious possession. something i used to have and must have to continue with my life. to become who i used to be and who i will be. i don't know where it went. it faded slowly while i continue living a life of emptiness. it was not until today that i finally realise it was the absence of it that has kept me from the real me.

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i think it was partly because of the slight change of environment around me. however, if i were to be somewhere else, i think i will lose myself competely.

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OR

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another cause would be because i was lying to myself all this while. but, was i? why would i?

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so, why?

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where can i find it? will i ever find it back?

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oh my god. help me.

The Changeling (2008)

A grief-stricken mother takes on the LAPD to her own detriment when it stubbornly tries to pass off an obvious impostor as her missing child, while also refusing to give up hope that she will find him one day.

Based on a true story.

Single parent Christine Collins (Angelina Jolie) is a supervisor at the local telephone exchange who, having returned home late from having to work overtime on a Saturday, finds her 9 year old son Walter (Gattlin Griffith) is missing from their home. As the days and weeks go by, the Collins case becomes the object of a campaign by Pastor Gustav Briegleb who rails against the incompetence and corruption of the Los Angeles police Department. Soon, the police arrive with the news that they have found her boy but when the lad is turned over to her, she realizes that the police have returned a stranger to her in an attempt to bring an end to the public complaints about their handling of her case. Her attempts to get justice bring her into conflict with the LAPD who will go to any length to protect their reputation. When she joins a minister in his public criticism of the police, they in turn use government power to silence and intimidate her. When she continues to complain she finds herself arrested and confined to the mental ward..

The story is set in 1920s, during which corruption and power abuse is at it highest.

Directed by Clint Eastwood, this deep and daring movie is worth the watch.

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Do take some time off to watch this remarkable movie.