The first born lives in a world of conditional love. Always thinking that love can be lost at any moment the first born interacts cautiously with others.
The Beginning
The first born starts life as an only child basking in more than enough love. Everything changes when mother brings this tiny stranger home from who-knows-where. When the stranger whimpers, mother tells the first born to wait while she takes care of the baby. The oldest child is stunned at being rejected. He never got set aside like this before.
"Is It Something I Did?
As the oldest child watches mother have entirely too much fun with this stranger he (or she) concludes that he must have done something terribly wrong for mother to reject him. He begins to feel guilty about what he does, thinks and feels, a sense of guilt that carries on throughout life. But, he can never figure out what he did wrong.
Lifelong Implications
The first born lives in fear that he will inadvertently offend someone so that what little love there is will be lost. He is afraid to say what he thinks, wants or feels so "I don't know" becomes a standard answer. What do you think? I don't know. What do you want for supper? I don't know. What would you like to do tonight? I don't know.
First Born Body Language
Body language lets you identify the first born as he keeps nodding his head in agreement. The first born waits to know what you think before venturing an opinion, an opinion that will agree with what you said. The first born will expend great effort to please you if you mention what you want. However, real interaction with the first born is difficult.
First Borns
First borns do have strengths. Having led younger siblings, they tend to be leaders that others will follow. Listening to others makes them into research thinkers that enable them to pursue research tirelessly. Clearly, firstborns are natural leaders. They also tend to be reliable, conscientious and perfectionists who don't like surprises.
They love to be right and hate to be contradicted. Oldest children may show off their knowledge or abilities to other children or adults in order to gain appreciation, love and respect. They are competent at an early age and may be responsible beyond their years. In some cases, this causes the first born to grow up too quickly, which may affect them throughout their lives to come.
When first borns do not achieve their goals, they often suffer from extreme guilt. They feel as though they've failed themselves, their parents, and those around them. They feel a loss of love from others when they've failed, whether or not that loss is actually there. They also have a strong sense of justice which contributes to their feeling of guilt - they think that people should get what they deserve. This makes it that much harder to convince a first born that failing at a project does not make them a bad person.
When first borns do not achieve their goals, they often suffer from extreme guilt. They feel as though they've failed themselves, their parents, and those around them. They feel a loss of love from others when they've failed, whether or not that loss is actually there. They also have a strong sense of justice which contributes to their feeling of guilt - they think that people should get what they deserve. This makes it that much harder to convince a first born that failing at a project does not make them a bad person.
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